Services
Individual Adult Psychotherapy
Adults
need to seek therapy when they find themselves repeating patterns of behaviors
that are unproductive or destructive, to themselves or their
relationships. Therapy is indicated when people are unable to resolve
problems successfully in their lives. The kinds of problems that adults
experience when they come for psychotherapy are:
- inability to maintain
healthy relationships
- inconsistent or undefined
value system
- conflicts with the law or
other authority
- inability to communicate
effectively
- loss of control of their
feelings and or perceptions
- not being able to achieve
goals
Adults come to
therapy after they’ve exhausted their efforts to resolve a problem. I
help them determine how the solutions they’ve implemented in their lives to
solve problems are working. Often these solutions were created in their
childhoods and equally as often they don’t remember why they developed these
solutions in the first place. Awareness and insight are helpful but I
emphasize organizing new behaviors and routines that are constructive.
Ask me about how we use solutions created in childhood that we all rely on
despite their ineffectiveness.
I believe that because we are biological creatures, brain chemistry plays a
large role in how we function. I am clear that we are genetically
predisposed to certain moods or tendencies and understanding our biological
history can help us not be victims of that history. It is important to
acknowledge that there are medical approaches available that can reduce
suffering from certain conditions and I will help clients determine when those
situations exist. I consult with my clients as to the appropriate option
to pursue regarding getting medical relief for the struggles that have a
biologic basis.
Child/Family
I include parents when I provide child therapy. My thinking is that when
a child needs to be in therapy the parents are often confused, frustrated,
guilt ridden, anxious, or angry. Parents very often need some guidance to
help them feel more effective. When a child is younger, typically younger than
five or six, I will work exclusively with the parents. As the child ages,
I am willing to spend more individual time with her/him. I help parents
with making decisions that affect their children and give them parenting
techniques that make them more successful. I help parents clarify their
parenting philosophy or even create one. I often help parents understand
how the stresses in their lives are being acted out by their child.
I work closely with schools, when given permission from the parents, to
advocate for the child. School performance is an important aspect to
consider in assessing the child’s functioning
Ask me about the metaphor of children being blind. It is a concept
I developed to help parents understand the importance of consistency in
children’s lives.
Adolescents
Developmentally, adolescents are on a quest to experience the world and how
they fit into it. They are in the throes of developing their own value
system after having been given one by their parents. How does one go about
developing one’s own value system? Typically adolescents explore numerous
ways of being, some see this as rebellion. This motivation often blinds
their ability to make good decisions. Added to this developmental quest
is the fact that adolescents’ brains are not fully developed especially in the
area of impulse control and thinking through decisions. Adolescents, in
American society, are confronted with the difficult dilemma of not quite being
children and not quite being adults. Yet they have influences thrust upon
them that are very challenging indeed. Adolescents need to be brought to
psychotherapy by their parents when:
- they continually make poor
decision and don't seem to accept responsibility for them
- their emotions overwhelm
them; depression, fear, anger, and anxiety
- they refuse to allow their
parents to have influence in their lives
- they refuse to communicate
with their parents
- they become violent or are
the victim of violence
- they do poorly at school and
don't care
- they allow others to use or
abuse them
- they use or abuse alcohol or
drugs
- they are self destructive
- they are unable to develop
and maintain healthy peer relationships
As with
children, I try to involve parents in the therapy. I use the adolescent’s
age and emotional maturity to help me decide how much to involve the
parents. The specific difficulties that are presented also help determine
how much to involve parents. Adolescents, by law, are entitled to
confidentiality even from their parents. When I hear information that I
think the parents should know, I work with the adolescent to help them find a
way to tell the parents. Sometimes the adolescent and I together will
tell the parents if the client needs help telling the parents.
Occasionally the adolescent will give me permission to tell the parents without
them.
Marital/Couple
Being loved by another person is a universal dream shared among people of
different cultures and societies. While we know we want to be loved by
another, sometimes we struggle with getting our needs met in a loving
relationship and don’t know what to do. Marital or couple relationships
require people to merge differing values in many aspects of living.
Couples have to decide:
- how to make decisions
about managing money
- how and when to be intimate
(which is different than sexual)
- how and when to be
sexual
- how to be sensitive to each
other
- how to deal with their
spouse's/partner's family
- how to reconcile differences
in values and philosophies of life
